Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Okay, so shortly after my last entry last night, I took a Lortab. I've only taken them at night because I don't want to over-do-it during the day. Well, apparently, after I took it I had a burst of energy. I decided I was tired of sounding like a cricket. I thought sitting on the side of the tub to shave wouldn't be so bad, and it wasn't until about 4 AM this morning when I awoke to some pain. Yes, I took another Lortab and drifted back to sleep. Maybe I'll try to start taking Ibuprofen or Aleve or something other than Lortab.

So, now I'm back to being at home by myself. There is absolutely nothing on TV during the day, and yet I can't really read a book right now because I won't remember a whole lot. I'm still not the sharpest tack in the box...yet, another reason to come off the Lortab ASAP. For those who like those kind of drugs what a sad life they must have. To choose to be numb or non-feeling, to choose to be in a fog or in a blur as opposed to seeing the vibrancy of life which includes difficulties and pain but it also includes laughter and joy sometimes it has to be searched for but it can be found.

There is no such thing as control, but there is such a thing called "choice." How will I react? How will I choose to respond? I don't always respond the way I want to. Sometimes, self gets in the way, and sometimes hormones kick in, and sometimes, I just act wrong.

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