I've been reflecting on today. And I realized that I'm getting rid of some parts of my body that failed me. They failed to serve the purpose in which they were created. My ovary not putting out good eggs and my uterus not supporting a baby. I could be upset, but I choose not to be. I have 2 beautiful children I wouldn't have otherwise.
But things like this use to tick me off because I had no say or no control over the matter, but going through infertility treatments and failed adoptions and other hard knocks in life, God has taught me that control is an illusion that Satan uses to make us think we are independent of God. It's the first tool he used with Eve. "Hey, taste the fruit. Be in control of your future." I first learned I wasn't in control when my own body wouldn't cooperate with my desire to have a baby...Now if you can't be in control of your own body, what can you be in control of, right? Your children? PLEASE! So, what I have learned is I have a choice. I have a choice of how I will respond to things when they happen. The way I respond will or could affect the eventual outcome of things. I have found that positive outlook and positive choices tend to lead to positive outcomes...not control. But that isn't always a given, but regardless, Jesus never leaves us or forsakes us, and there's peace in that. I'd rather have peace (which can be constant and comes from an unchanging source) than having the feeling of control (and we know where that comes from).