Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Round 2

Just FYI, for those of you who have NEVER had the pleasure of taking Magnesium Citrate, let me just tell you. Make sure you stay near the potty because when things begin happening, they happen fast! I'll spare you the details, but it is just to vial.

I don't have to be at the hospital until 10:30 AM tomorrow. Which means at 11 PM tonight, I will be drinking Gatorade till my eyes float. By 10:30 in the morning, I've had a granola bar or 2 and a snack. Otherwise, I typically start getting the shakes. And good luck to the nurse who has to find one of my small veins at that point too. I'm not sure who will be more nervous at that point, me or Patrick. Yes, I do. He will. He won't watch. He'll probably step out of the room.

I don't understand how my broad-shouldered, 5'11" husband can gut a deer, but at the sight of a needle or someone's blood, he turns pasty white and passes smoothe out. Can anyone explain that to me?

Speaking of pasty white, I have to go to the hospital without a stitch of makeup on too. I like to refer to my coloring as "Pigment Challenged." My support person and friend calls it "Critically Caucasian." I'm so white that when I was in high school, I could use baby powder for my face and no one could see it! I'm so white that when my girlfriends would go to the beach to lay out they would ask me to stand and reflect even more of the sun's light onto them. Yes, I foolishly tried to lay out with them and fried many times. So, now in addition to going to the OB once a year, I go to a dermatologist to have my skin checked. Of all the moronic things for me to have done as a white girl. I was so white that I had an uncle who never called me by name. He called me, "White Gul." His wife, my aunt was 1/2 Native American, so their 4 kids looked like Mexicans to me. I was taller and whiter than my other cousins. My sister is also "Pigment Challenged," but she can tan and will secretly go to a tanning bed to get a little color...don't tell my mother.

There are a lot of things my mother didn't know about when we were growing up. I hope my kids are as courteous. Actually, the things my mother didn't know about were the things I was doing with my DAD! And yes, they're still married, and yes, she has found out most of them.

Gotta go

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