I have to have faith that God is on His throne and is in control. Currently, there is a lady I know who is preventing the work of God being done even though she tries to appear righteous and spiritual. To the contrary, she's divisive and manipulative. Those who put on a spiritual cloak appear to be hiding things, and it my nature and what I do for a living (to investigate) to see to the heart of a matter. But this isn't my baby to rock. It's God's. My responsibility -- pray. Pray for her. Pray for her pastor.
For me this chapter is more about self-reflection, what are my motives for doing, for serving? It's about what I can testify to in my life showing that God is actively participating in it. It's about the depth of my faith and the roots or source of it. If I can't say that God has done something recently in my life and what I learned from it or how I grew from it, I need to ask myself "Why?" I feel my first place of service and ministry is in my home, and I have to say I struggle. There are just times I want to commence with the "laying on of the hands" :> when I'm dealing with my children as opposed to doing what is best for them in the long haul and parenting creatively. (My sister and I also use the "Rapture and Transformation" form of discipline when we are out in public. Our children are raptured to another room for the transformation of their behavior!) I'm not always the supportive and encouraging spouse. I know I'm not anywhere close to perfect and this is where my flaws are most evident. Thankfully, my heavenly Father is patient and kind and forgiving, and my family knows that I make mistakes and that I can apologize and learn from mistakes.
Ministry outside my home is easy for me -- I know my motives are right and it is truly with a servant heart that I do them, but the ministry in my home can be quite tedious and tiresome. I don't want to have the appearance of Ms. Spirituality. I want my children and husband to see my depth, my love, my devotion on a daily basis.
But the bottom line for spirituality is the relationship. How is my relationship with Jesus? Mine is a work in progress. I'm thankful He's patient and consistent and faithful -- all things I struggle with in my relationship with Him.In my prior blog titled "Be" talks a lot more about the different faces and the art of just being. Being who God wants us to be day in and day out...and more than appearing spiritual, this is who I want to be.