Since I have had a lot of time on my hands recently, and have not been allowed to do very much, I've had the opportunity to "be." Shakespeare said, "To be or not to be that is the question." For women in this day in time, the question is more like, "Who will I 'BE' today or at this moment? -- the managing mom, the consummate professional, the stable wife, the friend to many, a leader in the church, the faithful volunteer, and the list goes on. In Exodus, the Bible says, "Be still and know that I am God." Not "BE" the managing mom and know that I am God because when we try to manage things it gives us the illusion that we have power over control. Not "BE" the consummate professional and know that I am God, because when we are always professional we bind our hearts and prohibit ourselves from being God's hands and feet. Not "BE" the stable wife and know that I am God or any of the other labels we wear. He just wants us to "BE."
Before my surgery, I visited with my pastor about our lack of having a women's ministry because while I thoroughly love and enjoy and have fun at what I do for a living, God has put women's ministry as my passion. It has to be from God because it is not something I would have chosen for myself, I assure you. It was during this appointment that my "professional BE" was mowed down with the "BE." You see, when we can just "BE" and let God. Our transparency allows others to see what they need to see in us from God. I admit I cried in my pastor's office, and I admit it ticked me off. If I were to have a tear in my eye when I'm around the law enforcement guys, they would freak out. (Might be a funny experiment...but back on task.) My pastor saw my tears as tears of frustration (which that was part of it), and he also saw the passion that not only I have for women's ministry, but God's passion for women.
It's hard to live a transparent life. It's scary to live a transparent life because it requires us to be constantly vulnerable and we learn early on it's not good to be vulnerable because people will hurt you and use you. But it's in living the transparent life and the art of "BE" that others can see what God is wanting them to see of Himself. It reminds me of an e-mail I read recently. It talked about a person who was standing before Jesus, and the angels were bringing out quilts to represent each person's life. The person to one side had a beautiful patchwork with a few holes throughout it. The person to the other side had a few more holes and the fabric wasn't as vivid. Then the angel began to pull out the quilt that represented her life and she dropped her head. She had struggled in life with so many issues. She had failed and got back up again. She kept repenting and making herself anew, and the quilt reflected it. It had more holes than a fishnet. She was embarrassed and ashamed. Jesus came to stand before the quilt. His brilliance showed through and exposed every hole no matter how large or small, and He smiled at the woman. He said to her that during all those rough experiences when she leaned on Him, thought she failed, repented and got backup, it created a hole in the patchwork of her life which allowed the light of Christ to come through so all may see it. Now I'm paraphrasing the e-mail, but it really impacted me, and it goes back to the ability to just "BE."
I pray that you will be able to just "BE," and that your quilts will be holey.