Saturday, May 9, 2009

The Saturday before Mother's Day is Birth Mother's Day

It has been forever and a day since I blogged on this site. For the spring my mom and I blogged our Bible study that we were leading at our church, and we truly enjoyed it.

But today is the Saturday before Mother's Day. Do you know what day it is? It is birth mother's day. For all those women who exercised one of the most sacrificial forms of love by choosing to give your baby life, then choosing a better life for your baby through adoption -- THANK YOU! Without birth mothers, women like me wouldn't not be able to be a mom. I have two remarkable birth moms to thank.

My daughter's birth mom who even though she knows she made the right decision still faces guilty emotions on a regular basis. She was so brave and bold and allowed me to be in the delivery room when my daughter was born. This was my only, first-hand experience with live child birth, and I treasure it to this day. We are blessed to have an open adoption, and even though we were in contact with Erin's birth parents a lot more early on, I still make attempts to send them things to let them know how she is doing and what she is doing. For those who don't know about open adoptions or understand them, they are not anything to be afraid of. If you are interested in adoption, you should educate yourself on a matter before you make a decision about it or make any judgment on it. Erin was a very sick little girl. She was in the hospital 6 times before the age of 3. I cannot express how comforting it was to know that I could pick up the phone, call her birth parents and ask about issues that might be hereditary. It was to my daughter's benefit that we were able to have this kind of relationship. I look forward to the day when Erin and her birth mother can meet. It is a day I eagerly anticipate. I want Erin to meet the woman whom she looks so much like, the woman who first loved her, the woman who made a sacrificial decision and made me a mom which I will celebrate tomorrow.

My other birth mother I've never met. I never got to meet. She is the birth mother of my son who we got when he was exactly one week old. She chose to have a closed adoption. Does that mean she doesn't love him, didn't love him because she doesn't want contact? Absolutely not. It's just that this might be the only way she could possibly heal most of her heart. I hope that at some point she will contact the adoption agency and reach out to us when and if she is ever ready because I have so much to thank her for. I have so much to tell her about this beautiful boy that she gave birth to. I have so many things I want to ask her and I want to get to know her as a person, an individual. She has enlarged my circle of influence by choosing us to adopt her Hispanic baby boy, and I want to thank her for that.

For those who have never gone through fertility treatments, miscarriages, failed adoptions, etc., count yourself blessed. For those who have endured and have become mothers despite it all, I know how you cherish those little cherubs entrusted to your care, and we may be told that our children are fortunate to have us, but we know that we are the fortunate ones.

Both of my children know their adoption stories. When they ask me to tell them a story, their story is the one I tell first because both are miracles and their stories need to be told.

1 comment:

Leebird said...

What a wonderful idea to have birth mother's day....

I hope I get to wrap my arms around my birth mother one day...

Hey...can I ask you a huge favor? It's for your old and dear friend, Lee, whose eyes aren't what they used to be....Would it be possible to change the font color of your blog text? It's very hard to read on the blue background....it could be a tiny bit bigger, too! I'm getting permanent squint wrinkles on my nose! :)

Love you....looking forward to seeing you soon...will be in S'port middle of June.